In March of 2019, our world was rocked in the most beautiful & terrifying ways.

On the same day, our son was born and Suzy’s bro Joel was diagnosed with lymphoma. Our son was in the NIC-U for 6 days & released on Joel’s birthday. The moment they met, it was like they had known each other forever and that they may not have a ton of time together. Joel was SO EXCITED to be a FUN-cle & Knoxy loves him like crazy!

On November 10, 2021

Our world was rocked again. The night before, Joel passed, Suzy got to sit with him, speaking to him about memories, they had together, promising him that we would all. take care of each other, laughing until she cried & crying until she laughed, holding his hand, squeezing it & receiving a few squeezes back.

Joel loved giving gifts, and hours before he passed, he gave the gift of his voice with the last word she heard him say, “BEAUTIFUL”.

Grief and WTF moments.

I like making sense of things. BUT THIS JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Every day is different. There is no way to know how you’ll be triggered by grief.

Will grief bring tears? (Like the ugly cry tears) Will it bring laughter at the awesome times we had together? Will it bring anger that he is not here to create new memories with, physically hug, get advice from, or wonder what time he’ll be there and if we should start without him? He’s not here.

Personal grief.

“Everyone grieves differently.” (Obviously.)
“Time will make it better.”
(It was better when he was here.)
“Everything happens for a reason.”
(What’s the reason for this?)

I needed a way that I could be comforted in the loss of my brother. I wanted something that I could hold of his, that I could take with me wherever I went. That I could give to people to remind them of how loved they are and keep his legacy alive.

My bro loved A LOT of things! People, animals, the planet, food, speaking up for injustice. He also loved clothes and color. His clothes meant something to him.

I believe it’s one of the most personal things that we leave behind. We choose them. They show our personality, our likes, and dislikes, our beliefs, or the things we stand for or want to change. Our clothes can be our voice - without saying a word.

I got an idea “What if I could get a ‘squeezer hug’ from him anytime I want?”

“Fix what you can. When you can.” JW

Anytime something squeaked Joel grabbed his tool kit (which was always close). Knoxy LOVED fixing things with “Uncle DoDo”

Joel wanted to make sure that people KNEW he would be different in the remodeling industry, “What about BLUE SKIES?” - “Because there is ALWAYS a Blue Sky SOMEWHERE!”

BLUE SKIES legacy is to carry on Joel’s legacy and to build a legacy for Knox.

We want everyone to experience Joel’s love for life, so we created our “Squeezer Hugs”… (he gave the best hugs ever)!

We use up-cycled material to honor Joel’s love for our planet! Brian sews them on my Grandma’s sewing machine. Knoxy loves to help in the process by stuffing the hearts and pretending he’s Santa, with the stuffing! I use thread from Brian’s Grandpa to do the finishing stitch on each heart.

What started in grief, continues to normalize the gift of getting through tough things TOGETHER.